


Trust Fall

by Script_Savage



Series: This is My Family [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Diapers, Fluff, Gen, Mommy May-Freeform, Non-Sexual Ageplay, Pacifiers, Self-Indulgent, Thumb-sucking, Wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 00:38:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3402044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Script_Savage/pseuds/Script_Savage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma's having a really bad day. She could really use some comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [celestialskiff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialskiff/gifts).



> Hello everyone! I think it's fitting that my first work on this site is a gift to justwolf--her work is absolutely incredible. Hands-down, it's the best ageplay-related material I've ever read. I don't own the characters, and I'm really just playing in justwolf's sandbox on this one...Hopefully it's not too awful. Let me know what you think!

It was strange, Jemma reflected, to feel like an outsider on the doorstep of her own home. She raised a hand and rapped on the door, without any real enthusiasm. She felt tense, and achy all over; maybe she was coming down with something—the dull throbbing between her temples certainly wasn’t helping.

Jemma wondered if perhaps visiting her mother was a bad idea; and immediately felt guilty. This was her _Mum_ , she should be happy to see her, especially after all this time away, but…

Judging by the lack of vehicles parked outside, her father was still at work, and her brothers had gone off on their own some time ago. She couldn’t exactly say she was looking forward to facing her mother all by herself. Jemma felt awful for having those thoughts, but she couldn’t push them away.

Jemma hugged herself, rubbing her arms uselessly against the damp, cold air. She fastened another button on her coat, breath fogging in the air in front of her. _I want my dummy._ She thought.

She’d left it back at the hotel with Skye and Leo and Phil. She couldn’t bring it with her; visiting her Mum was stressful enough without having to struggle with the temptation of having her dummy and not being able to suck it. Honestly, she’d have preferred to stay at the hotel.

Coulson and May both had contacts in town, and with SHIELD gone, they needed all the help they could get. Bobbi and Hunter were probably in a pub somewhere, or maybe they’d gone to dinner at a nice restaurant.

Phil, Skye and Leo were back at the hotel, probably playing cards, or watching cartoons. Leo was probably getting hungry just now—Jemma wondered if he’d bring Skye to the buffet with him, or if they would call for room service.

After what had happened in the temple—and Fitz had risked his life _again_ —Skye was more vulnerable than she’d been in a long time. She’d wanted to go with May, but May had very gently told her it was better if she stayed behind. Skye was doing much better with control, where her new abilities were concerned, but when she was upset, it was very hard for her to maintain that control.

And Jemma…

Jemma was here.

 _Well, you’re never home_. Her mother’s words had been sharp, painful. She’d felt terribly guilty, and when she realized that their hotel was only a short distance from her home, well…the choice had seemed obvious.

She wanted nothing more than to stay back at the hotel with Phil, and Skye, and Leo. They could watch movies, or play games, or cuddle. She could suck her dummy and no one would judge her or make fun of her, or call her ridiculous. Coulson might give her a bottle, and she could wear a pull-up, and they would all be together, and she would feel safe.

But she’d gone to visit her mother. That was the right thing, the _grown-up_ thing, to do.

So why did it feel so bad?

The door creaked, and swung open. The warm gust that drifted out smelled like meat and potatoes, and if Jemma’s stomach hadn’t been twisted and anxious and nauseous, she might’ve been hungry.

“Hello, Jemma. Finally decided to visit, have you? Come on, give us a hug,” Jemma’s Mum didn’t look any different, older perhaps, but otherwise the same. She didn’t sound overly pleased to see Jemma, however, and that only made Jemma’s anxiety worse.

Jemma stepped forward and hugged her mum. It felt wrong. Her mum still smelled like soap and clean laundry, the same as she remembered, but the hug was a cursory thing, given out of obligation rather than love. Not at all like Coulson’s, or Skye’s, or May’s. The realization made her want to cry. But she didn’t.

_You’re a big girl, Jemma. You can’t cry now._

“Hi, Mum. How’ve you been?”

“I’m well. Come in, dear, you’ll catch cold standing out there like that.”

Jemma stepped obediently across the threshold. She was out of the cold, but she didn’t feel any better.

“Sorry about the mess. I wasn’t expecting company.”

“It’s fine, mum,” Jemma responded absently. Privately, she thought that felt like a jab, another reference to how little she was around. She wouldn’t be surprised if that was exactly how her mother meant it.

“Would you like some tea?”

Jemma nodded, even though her mum had already disappeared round the corner into the kitchen. “Yes, please.”

She paused as she went along, looking at all the family photos hung up in the hallway. There were a few new ones, and the most recent one of herself had been taken the year she left for uni. She’d changed a lot since then.

“So, how have things been at the hospital? I don’t get much chance to talk to you, so I never know what’s going on in your life.”

Jemma froze as she was about to turn the corner ad enter the kitchen. _Hospital?_ _Oh, right._ Her heart hammered in her chest and she felt lightheaded and dizzy and scared. She wished Coulson was here. Or May.

“They’ve been alright, I suppose. We’ve been busy.” Jemma responded, taking a seat at the table.

“Have you met any nice boys there?”

Jemma rolled her eyes. “Please, mum, not this again. I’ve been busy. Honestly, a relationship is the furthest thing from my mind at the moment.”

“Calm down, dear, I was only asking. It’s just that your brothers have all settled down and started families by now. Don’t you think it’s time you did the same? There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?”

“No,” Jemma replied flatly. “There isn’t. But I can’t. Not now.”

“Why not? Surely there must be someone—“

“I almost died, mum.” Jemma interrupted. She didn’t care if she was being rude. Of course, now she’d said too much and would have to come up with a suitable story. She couldn’t tell her mum the truth about what had happened to her and Fitz at the bottom of the ocean.

“What?” her mother didn’t sound particularly bothered by the news.

“In the lab. One of the new employees got careless. I was exposed to something, I was sick for a while…I didn’t think I would…” Jemma stopped herself. “Forget it. It’s not important. I’m here now.” She swallowed past the lump in her throat.

“Well, I’m glad you’re safe.” She didn’t move to give Jemma a hug, or offer any other reassurances.

“Have I done something to upset you?” Jemma wondered out loud. “Every time you call me, you’ve always got something to say about how little I’m around. And now that I’m here, you don’t seem all that pleased to have me.”

“No, nothing like that,” her mum still didn’t move away from the stove. “It’s just that you’ve been away for so long that we’ve…well…moved on.”

That hurt. Jemma was angry and heartbroken all at once. “Moved on…” she repeated numbly. “Mother, it isn’t as if I _died_. I got a _job_. I wanted to do something _useful_. I wanted to _help people._ I know you wanted me to find someone and settle down, but this is my life. Can’t you just be proud of who I am?” Her cheeks were wet, her breath came in sharp gasps. Jemma wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

“So starting a family, raising children of your own, that’s not useful? That’s not helping people?” her mother countered, and Jemma was taken aback by the viciousness of her tone. “You’re my only daughter, Jemma. Is it really so wrong for me to want that for you?”

“I suppose it’s not. But that’s not fair, mum, you know that’s not what I meant.” Jemma replied firmly. “Coming here was a mistake,” she continued, burying the horrible, gnawing loneliness welling up deep down inside her. “I’ll just go. You can move on. You don’t have to worry about me interrupting again. I love you, mum. Take care of yourself.”

Her mother made no move to stop her as she headed for the door.

 

###

 

Jemma must’ve looked even worse than she thought, because Skye immediately realized that something was wrong. She’d barely set foot in the door before Skye was in front of her.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked, taking Jemma by the shoulders.

Jemma was looking at Little Skye, but Big Skye was talking to her, and that made her feel a little better. It wasn’t the same as Coulson, or May, but her gentle solidarity helped.

“I’m…” Jemma didn’t have any words. She wanted to cry, a lot. She wanted someone to hug her and tell her everything was going to be alright. She wanted her dummy and a bottle, maybe a pull-up, or a nappy even. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t do it by herself, and it wasn’t fair on Skye to need that from her. Jemma already needed way too much; she couldn’t take Skye’s little time away from her too.

Jemma sighed and looked longingly at her dummy, her Captain America one, still on the nightstand where she’d left it that morning. Her eyes burned, her head hurt, and she was suddenly aware that she needed to pee very badly.

She wanted Mommy. But she said:

“Fine. I’m fine.”

Skye raised an eyebrow, not fooled in the slightest. “I don’t believe you,” she said, but she didn’t sound cross. Just worried. “I’m here for you Jemma. I know I’m not as good at looking after people as Mommy or Daddy, but you look like you could really use some comfort right now.”

Jemma felt terrible. Her eyes strayed to the white shape of the nappy peeking out from Skye’s sweats. She didn’t want to be a burden, didn’t want Skye to be cross with her for being so needy. But, she couldn’t stop herself. She reached out for a hug.

“Oh, honey,” Skye murmured, pulling Jemma to her. She rubbed Jemma’s back gently.

Jemma burst into tears. She trembled with the force of her sobbing, her stomach heaved and she thought she might throw up. And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, she felt a spurt of dampness in her knickers and her bladder throbbed painfully.

She pulled away from Skye, still crying, and then realized that she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t make herself go into the bathroom. _You’re being ridiculous_. Jemma told herself. _The toilet is right there._ But she couldn’t move. Not all by herself, not like this. She felt way too little, and it was just too much.

Skye seemed to have inherited May’s talent for knowing when Jemma had to pee, and Jemma wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

“Do you need to go potty?” Skye asked gently.

Jemma nodded.

“Do you need help?”

No. No, she absolutely did not need help. She was a grown-up, an adult, the idea was ludicrous. “Can I have my dummy, first?” She was being foolish, she knew, she was sure she didn’t have much time left before she had an accident. But going into the bathroom, without Skye, without her dummy…the thought terrified her.

Skye seemed to pick up on Jemma’s desperation, because she snatched Jemma’s dummy off the nightstand and then took Jemma’s hand and hurried her to the bathroom. She undid Jemma’s pants with deft fingers and Jemma sat down on the toilet and relieved herself.

It was only after she’d finished that she remembered the little accident she’d had, and apparently Skye’d seen it too. Jemma felt hot, and embarrassed and very little.

“It’s okay,” Skye said gently, brushing Jemma’s hair away from her face. “Accidents happen. But I think you should wear a pull-up now, just in case.”

Jemma sucked her dummy anxiously. It felt a little strange to let Skye make all the decisions, but she felt way too little to make that choice all by herself. “Okay,”

“I’ll be right back,” Skye said, and scurried out of the room.

Jemma felt incredibly small and afraid without Skye there. It was ridiculous really, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t push that feeling away.

Skye came back with a pull-up in her hand, and smiled at Jemma. She knelt down in front of her and slid the pull-up on.

Jemma felt more tears streaming down her cheeks; she didn’t even bother trying to hold them back anymore.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Skye asked.

Jemma shook her head. She knew that Skye meant well, but she could barely handle it herself, and she was already being a burden. She’d taken away Skye’s little time, and she was a complete mess. She wouldn’t burden Skye with her personal problems on top of everything else.

“That’s okay. Why don’t you change clothes, and we’ll watch some cartoons until Mommy and Leo come back. She took him down to the café to get something to eat. They should be back in no time.”

Jemma nodded again, and took hold of Skye’s hand. She felt even littler when Skye led her by the hand back to the bed, mostly because she wasn’t wearing trousers.

Skye helped her dress in a pair of sweats and a light blue t-shirt with a dinosaur on it that said: _I’m RAWR-some_. It was cute. She curled up against Skye on the bed and stared at the telly.

There was a talking yellow sponge, surrounded by other talking aquatic animals. Jemma thought he was silly.

She was crying again. She was too tired to try to stop herself. She wanted a bottle. But she couldn’t ask Skye for that too, not after she’d already done so much.

“It’s okay,” Skye said again, stroking Jemma’s back.

Jemma sucked her dummy and tried believe her.

 

###

 

“It was scary, Mommy.” Skye said quietly. Daddy and Leo had gone down to the arcade, but Jemma was asleep on the other side of the bed. And it was true: she didn’t think she’d ever seen Jemma so upset before. She never did find out what had upset Jemma so terribly, but she knew that Jemma would talk about it when she was ready.

“I’m sure it was, baby. But I’m very proud of you. That was very kind and brave of you to help Jemma like you did.” May said, kissing Skye’s temple as she shifted on her lap.

“I’m not very good at looking after people,” Skye admitted.

Mommy kissed her forehead. “That’s not what Jemma says. And anyway, it takes practice. You did a good job. I bet you’re tired though, sweetie. You’ve had a long day.”

“Uh-huh,” Skye said around her thumb. She felt a warm rush in her diaper, the padding swelled between her legs. But it was okay. She was little.

“I’ll change you in a minute.” Mommy said. “Do you want a bottle, or would you like to nurse?”

Skye really wanted to nurse, but she was also very thirsty, so she said: “Bottle,”

Mommy slid Skye off her lap and onto the bed; Skye wished she was small enough for Mommy to pick her up and carry her.

Skye sucked her thumb and reached under the pillow for her blanket, rubbing its silky edge against her cheek.

Mommy came back with a bottle half full of juice and propped herself up with the pillows. Skye crawled across the bed on her hands and knees, careful not to bump Jemma, and climbed into Mommy’s lap.

Skye knew how to position herself almost instinctively by now. “Can I have a story afterward?” she wondered.

May looked at her, her expression firm and loving. “Finish your bottle and we’ll see. You need a fresh diaper and it’s getting to be past your bedtime already.”

Skye pouted, it always worked on Daddy. “But, Mommy…” she almost whined, but caught herself; she knew Mommy would say no right away if she whined.

“We’ll see,” May’s voice was firm. Skye sucked on the bottle and didn’t argue.

Her eyelids felt like they were made of lead by the time she’d finished, but she was still awake. The cold wipes on her bottom as Mommy changed her diaper jolted her; she felt a little more awake, but she’d begun to drift again by the time Mommy was done.

“Can I have my story now?” Skye slurred around her thumb.

“I don’t know,” Mommy said, stroking Skye’s eyebrows gently with her thumbs. “You look pretty sleepy to me.”

Skye fought to keep her eyes open, but she couldn’t—Mommy’s touch was too relaxing. “’M no’ s’eepy. See?” she pried her eyes open again, just to make a point.

Mommy chuckled. “Okay. _One_ story, baby, and then it’s bedtime.”

“’Kay,” Skye answered, pulling Ada Lovelace closer.

May reached into her small duffel bag, which at this point, was more a diaper bag than anything else; she’d have to get a new one for overnight ops. She took out a large book entitled _ 365 Bedtime Stories_, and cleared her throat.

Skye wondered how long it would take to read them all. Probably forever. 365 was a lot of stories.

“Once upon a time…” Mommy began, and Skye closed her eyes and let Mommy’s words lull her to sleep.

 

           


	2. Chapter 2

Jemma awoke to a hand stroking her back. The fingers were soft and gentle against her skin, and the skin-to-skin contact made it so much more intimate. It felt wonderful. She tried to suck her dummy a little, content to just lay in bed for a while, but it was gone.

            She made a faint, embarrassing mewling noise in the back of her throat. She needed her dummy.

            “It’s alright, little one,” May’s voice— _Mommy’s_ voice—was gentle and soothing. She kept rubbing Jemma’s back. “I’ve got you.”

            Jemma rolled over so she could see May. She let herself relax when May leaned down and kissed her forehead.

            “Skye tells me you had a really tough day. Do you need a hug?” May asked, and Jemma almost burst into tears all over again.

            She sniffled and felt around on the bed for her dummy; she didn’t want to cry again, her eyes were already itchy and sore from all the crying she’d done earlier. But without her dummy, she didn’t think she could hold back the tears. She shut her eyes tight and rubbed at them with her fists, but that only made them hurt more.

            Jemma felt something soft against her lips and opened her mouth reflexively—she was incredibly relieved when May slid her dummy between her teeth. She sucked on her dummy and leaned against May. She felt herself being lifted a little, and she thought that May must be really, really strong to be able to lift her. And then, she was sitting in May’s lap and she didn’t feel quite so awful. She rested her head against May’s shoulder and listened to her heart.

            May put her hand up Jemma’s shirt again and rubbed her back gently. It made her feel very little.

            “I went to see my Mum,” Jemma said after a while, her dummy falling out onto the bed. She made herself sit up and look at May

            “Oh?”

            “I didn’t want to go, but I thought I should…I haven’t seen or talked to them for a while.” Jemma felt tears welling up again, but May was there before she could move, wiping the tears away with her thumbs.

            “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” May said gently.

            Jemma shook her head. She needed to talk about it; she knew that May could make it better, and she felt way too little and lost and scared to deal with it all by herself. She wanted her dummy, but she didn’t know if she could be brave enough to tell May what had happened if she started sucking on it again.

            The words got stuck in her throat, and she had to swallow a few times before she could talk again.

            “I wanted to be grown-up. I knew that she’d be cross because I’ve not been to visit for a long time…I just wasn’t expecting…” Jemma’s eyes burned and her throat hurt. But she made herself keep going. “She told me that she’d _moved on_. Like I’d died…Like I was nothing more than an inconvenience that she had the misfortune of giving birth to.”

            Jemma was crying hard, great, heaving sobs that made her tummy hurt. She felt very alone. She was suddenly terrified that May would reject her too; it was stupid, she shouldn’t have said anything. She should have been big enough to deal with it on her own.

            But she couldn’t. She couldn’t do it, and that only made her feel about a thousand times worse than she did already. She was a big girl, she shouldn’t need a dummy, or a pull-up, or to be coddled like a baby because her emotions were just too big for her to cope with.

But, no matter how hard she tried, it always seemed like too much. She didn’t feel big enough to make any decisions by herself, and she didn’t know what she would do if May left her.

            Jemma clung to May with a desperate kind of strength. Maybe if she held on tight enough, May wouldn’t leave her.

            “Oh, baby girl,” May said softly.

            Jemma didn’t say anything else, she just held on to May and cried. “I’m sorry.” She said, pulling away from May. “I’m awful. I shouldn’t have bothered you with all this. This is my burden to bear.” She tried to climb out of May’s lap, but May wouldn’t let her.

            “Jemma Simmons,” May’s voice was suddenly very firm, and she looked almost cross.

            Jemma was scared. She stared at her lap.

            “Look at me, little one.”

            She tried, but she couldn’t bring herself to look into May’s eyes. She was too terrified of the disappointment she would see there.

            May took Jemma’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, very soft, very gentle, and raised it until their eyes met.

            “Jemma, I want you to listen to me. I know you’re upset, and I know that you’re scared. And that’s okay. I’m not going anywhere, understand. No matter what happens, I will _always_ be here when you need me.”

            Jemma nodded. She didn’t have any words.

            “And secondly, I don’t ever want to hear you talk about yourself like that again, young lady. Needing comfort doesn’t mean you’re bad, and you shouldn’t feel bad because of it. Everyone needs it sometimes, that’s part of being human.”

            “You don’t.” Jemma replied. “You’re always brave.”

            May smiled and kissed Jemma’s forehead. “Not always. Even I get scared sometimes.”

            Jemma blinked. She wasn’t sure if she should believe May. She seemed way too calm to be scared most of the time. Even the monsters under the bed were scared of her.

            “You do?”

            “I do.” May repeated. “Do you remember when you got sick from that Chitauri helmet?”

            Jemma shuddered. She definitely remembered that; she couldn’t walk through the cargo bay without thinking about it. “Yes,”

            “When you jumped out of the plane…that scared me. It scared everyone. We all love you very much, Jemma, no matter what happens, and even if you don’t always feel worthy of it. We’re a family, little girl, and that’s what family is for.”

            Jemma sniffled. “I love you too, Mommy.” She said, and froze. She hadn’t meant to call May that. She tensed, ready for the rejection that was sure to be coming her way.

            “It’s okay, Jemma. You can call me ‘Mommy’ if you want to.”

            Jemma nodded. “Mommy?” she tried it out again. “Can I have my dummy?”

            May felt around on the bed and then slid it into Jemma’s mouth. “By the way,” she said. “I know you already talked about it with Coulson. But if you ever pull a stunt like that again, I’m going to get you one of those harnesses for little kids.”

            Jemma flushed. “Don’t you think that’s a bit… _extreme_?” she popped the dummy back into her mouth when she’d finished speaking.

            “Most people would say jumping out of a plane is pretty extreme.” May responded “And besides, you’re my baby—what kind of Mommy would I be if I let you do something that dangerous?” she kissed Jemma’s temple.

            Jemma felt the tension of the day melting away, and she leaned against May, sucking softly on her dummy as May rocked her gently.

            “Can I have a bottle? I’m thirsty,” Jemma admitted, and it was a little embarrassing to ask for a bottle specifically, but she felt too little to handle drinking from a big-girl cup, because then she couldn’t cuddle with Mommy.

            “Of course,” May said, sliding Jemma onto the bed. “I’ll be right back.

            Jemma surprised herself by reaching for May; a small, quiet sound escaped her and May turned around.

            “It’s okay, Jemma.” May knelt down in front of the bed and smoothed Jemma’s hair out of her face. “I’ll be right in the kitchen,” she paused, guiding Jemma along until she was sitting closer to the foot of the bed. “If you sit here, you’ll be able to see me the whole time.”

            Jemma hummed contentedly and watched as May fixed her bottle. Her bladder twinged again and she let it go into her pull-up almost without thinking about it. It was a little embarrassing, but that was okay. She was little. Mommy would take care of her.

            No matter what.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks, that's a wrap! This story is now complete, but I will definitely be writing more. Thank you all for reading, and please take a look at justwolf's work if you haven't already!

**Author's Note:**

> So...that's that then. I'm from the US so please forgive any misuse of UK slang terms or sentence structure, I'm not nearly as familiar with them as I'd like to be. Feel free to point out anything that doesn't make sense and I'll make sure to avoid repeating the error in the future. Also, if you haven't already done so, please check out justwolf's work! You won't regret it, I promise!


End file.
